Health

Foster Mom to 100 Comes Straight from the Heart

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They’re literally rolling out the red carpet for Patty Boles in New York City. It’s fitting tribute to a woman who’s spent decades figuratively putting out a welcome mat.

Patty and her husband Richard have been foster parents for more than 100 children with special needs over the past 33 years. And they’ve ended up making 10 of them permanent additions to their family.

“Ninety of them left, but ten stayed,” Patty said. “I’ve gone through 40 to 50 strollers in 33 years.”

Now the Vista resident has been honored nationally as one of L’Oreal Paris’ 10 “Women of Worth.” The company is bringing the 10 nominees to New York City for a red-carpet event Dec. 3 when one of them will receive $25,000 for her cause.

Being in the top ten has already meant $10,000 for Straight from the Heart, Inc., the nonprofit thrift store and foster family resource center Patty founded in San Marcos.

Patty was nominated by a North County foster parent and was among 3,500 women in the running for the honor. She initially made the cut to the top 30 nominees. After submitting answers to a series of questions and getting recommendations from community members she was notified she was a finalist.

“They called at 4 a.m. to tell me I made the final 10 and I thought someone had died when the phone rang that early,” she said.

From San Marcos to the Big Apple

She’s already made one trip to New York City. Finalists were flown out to do a video that will be shown at the ceremony. Each of the finalists will also be paired up with a celebrity such as Lea Michele from Glee, Trisha Yearwood, Today show host Hoda Kotb or Diane Keaton.

“You get to hang out with the celebrity and they introduce your finalist video at the ceremony,” she said. (Patty hopes for Trisha Yearwood – she’s been a huge fan for years.)

A film crew also came to San Marcos to do a “hometown” video in which they followed Patty around one day from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.

“I had to get the three girls ready for school,” she said. “They all have really long hair so they filmed ‘hair time’ where everyone gets their hair brushed out and then followed me dropping them off for school.”

The day, of course, included plenty of time spent at Straight from the Heart. Located in a nondescript strip mall in San Marcos, the real heart of the operation lies behind the racks of clothes and household goods on the sales floor.

I’ve gone through 40 to 50 strollers in 33 years.
-Patty Boles, Mother

Patty and her army of volunteers have created an epicenter for foster families in North County. Future foster parents can attend the required classes they need. There are English and Spanish support groups for foster parents. Children can have reunification meetings with their birth families here.

Kathy Jackson and June Herzog, both San Diego County Health and Human Services Agency Child Welfare Services managers in North County, have worked with Patty for more than 20 years.

“Patty has a wealth of knowledge and is a valued partner in keeping foster children safe and in familiar environments,” said Herzog.

“She is a central point of contact for communications regarding services, training and mentoring for foster and relative caregivers in North County and her contributions, commitment and advocacy have been invaluable to our community.”

Straight from the Heart has an all-volunteer workforce including many foster parents as well as a group of seniors called “The Grandmas.”

“We wanted this to be the hub of foster care in North County and that’s what it’s become,” said Patty. “There’s a lot of magical stuff that happens here.”

Many area churches and civic groups donate to the store. Anything new that comes in is not sold. It’s set aside for foster children.

“We have what we call the ‘Kids Pack Room’ and anything new that is donated goes in that room for foster kids including formula, backpacks, clothes and school supplies,” Patty said.

It’s a wonder Patty has time for everything she does. She and Richard currently have three minor children and three adult children living with them.

“The most we’ve had at home at one time has been seven,” she said.

They day Andy was adopted and joined the Boles family with Patty, Richard and Lisa.One Becomes Eleven

A near-death experience is what led them to become foster parents and eventually adoptive parents.

Patty nearly died in 1974 giving birth to her first daughter Lisa.

“I had to have a hysterectomy in the middle of the night to save my life,” she said.

There were complications for Lisa, too, and Patty was unable to see her daughter for the first three months. She remained in Tri-City Hospital while Lisa was transferred to UC San Diego.

“We wanted to have a large family, so I said, ‘As soon as I can walk, we’re going to San Diego County Adoptions.’

When Lisa was around 3 months old, Patty and Richard went in to start the adoption process. They were told that adoption officials preferred they be married a few years first, so they decided to wait and come back a year later.

After adopting the first child they were told, “you’re done, you have two kids now.”

A friend suggested becoming foster parents. Even though their strong desire was to adopt, they decided to start fostering children.

As fate would have it, they were able to adopt the second foster child they got.

“We started as regular foster parents, but then we got our feet wet with babies with disabilities,” Patty said, and they had found their calling.

The afflictions suffered by the children ranged from fetal alcohol, Down and Apert syndromes to starvation and being rescued from abusive situations and drug-ravaged homes.

Three of the children are now married and have families of their own.

Andy, Lisa, Billy, Lindsey, Lacie, Amelia and Nicolas Boles at Christmas time.Her Kind of Crazy

Part of the ‘Women of Worth’ outcome was determined by gathering votes via social media and a website L’Oreal set up, but Patty hated asking people to vote for her.

Instead, she’s been doing a series of inspirational emails with stories about her children.

She remembers the challenges of trying to get family photos at holiday time.

“I’ve always tried to get group Christmas shots, but the kids were always doing something,” Patty said. “One son would be giving the Elvis lip, another climbing on someone’s shoulders or one of the girls looking all over the place but at the camera.

“I always thought I needed medication after the photo shoots,” she joked.

“It’s been a fun life, but I wouldn’t change any of it. A lot of people look at me like I’m crazy but it’s my kind of crazy.”

Tom Christensen is a communications specialist with the County of San Diego Communications Office. Contact